Redefining Love

When leaving a narcissist, it's important to remember one thing. You're NOT the "crazy" one.

You'll feel moments of anger but in the next moment, you'll miss them. You'll feel empowered and strong and then completely lost and broken. This is NORMAL. And it's okay if no one understands. I DO!

Trauma bonds are hard to break. A trauma bond is an unhealthy infatuation with someone, where your connection to them is based off of a tumultuous series of events. Extreme HIGHS and extreme lows. There is no stability. It's merely an illusion of "love." It's an idea, or a "dream", that the two of you have something "no one else has." That's what you've been programmed to believe, anyway.

I can't tell you the number of times I "went back" because I believed that what we had was something "no one else had." I justified the abuse in my head. When it was good, it was great. When it was bad, it was awful. You become addicted to the abuse, always chasing your next high...or what I like to call, the "honeymoon phase." The honeymoon phase comes after the blows from every storm. This vicious cycle is what you've defined as "love." So what IS love, actually? First, I'll tell you what love is NOT.

Love is not:

•Manipulating

•shaming

•guilt tripping

•gaslighting

•violent

•angry

•confusing

•degrading

•jealous

•cheating

•lying

•insecure

Or

•inconsistent

Love IS :

1st Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Even if you know how to love others, do you know how to love yourself? The day you believe in God's love for you, is the day you'll never settle for less.

When you study God's character, you'll begin to believe in His truth and who He says you are. He'll begin to transform you. His confidence becomes YOUR confidence. And once you feel what love is ACTUALLY, it's easier to reject anything that ISN'T!

There's only one way to regain your power and to stop the cycle. Get in God's word.

Redefining love starts with seeking the One who created it in the first place.